Observations from a day at the local Gym


Observations from a day at the local Gym  If you are one of the many people out there that have a gym membership, you have without a doubt witnessed many strange things. I know I do every single time I step foot in any fitness facility. I thought I would list some of the things I have seen and continue to see.  

1.     The feeble elderly man wearing bright blue slacks, Velcro K-Mart sneakers, and a buttoned down shirt. He is moving from machine to machine performing 20-30 half to quarter range of motion repetitions. Most of the time he looks like this could be the day….I always spot the D-fib machine on the wall at these times.  

2.     Joe construction worker. This guy obviously has NO time to go home, clean up and change clothes before his workout and at the very least, pack some workout gear in his bag. Instead he shows up in ripped and tattered jeans, concrete and who knows what else, tattooed to his skin, and let’s not forget…his work boots. He usually does a few sets of bench, biceps curls and he is out.  

3.     The 80 pound emaciated girl who does a 60 min warm up on the elliptical machine, and then follows that up with another 30 min. of very light weight Cybex machine circuit training before running out the door to make it home in time to watch everyone else eat.

4.     The 210 pound overweight girl who does 10 min. of very slow walking on the treadmill while watching Oprah on the overhead TV. All while drinking a large bottle of Gatorade.

5.     The Jack-up, Juiced-Up Meat Head guy who sports a extra tight wife beater every single day that he is in the gym. You can find this guy on the bench press every Monday afternoon like clockwork, usually performing at least 10 sets of bench with his equally jacked-up, juiced-up lifting partner. These guys are usually sporting the ceremonial tribal band tattoo over one or both biceps.

6.     The skinny newbie high school kid who has read too many copies of Flex magazine (One is too many!) and thinks that doing 12 sets of DB curls and leg press is going to get him huge.

7.     The small-college football player that has decided to lift at the gym and do his own program in the summer instead of lifting with his team and following the school’s program…because he knows better. You can usually spot him sporting his college named t-shirt and doing very heavy, very bad-form squats in the corner. He is always in direct competition with the Meat head guys at the bench press every Monday.

 8.     Buffed out fitness model girl who is more buff than most guys in the place. She is usually found in front of the dumbbells wearing very tight, revealing workout clothes.

9.     The Talkers – These people come in all shapes, sizes and genders, but have one thing in common…they don’t really come to workout, they come to talk. They will dress the part and have all of the workout gear on, but you rarely see them doing more than one set in a row without taking a 10 min break to talk it up with someone.  Most of the time they will be parked in front of some loaded up free weights acting like they are between sets resting. But you will find that they are talking more than anything else.
10. The Old retired Marine who still who still wears cut off sleeves and his socks hiked up to his knees. This guy will pump iron all day long. Tough as nails, but doesn’t realize that his hanging skin is stopping him from getting that pump that is used to get.   And Finally………… 

11. The Screamer – This is the guy who is lifting WAY more weight than he should be lifting, and lets everyone in ear shot know that he is lifting more than them. Usually he does each set to absolute failure and each rep is completed with sonic noises coming from the depths of his lungs. Some people are scared to workout anywhere around him, and others are wondering if they need to call 911. Strange loud grunts come before the weight is lifted, only to be followed by screams during the set and finally agonizing whimper when the set is completed. This is truly my favorite person to watch.  

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